Invasion (2006)

All songs written by Vykyng (J. Burrey, B. Moser, J. Spealman, V. Leibensperger).

Lyrics reprinted by permission.  All songs (c) 2006 Vykyng LLC.  All rights reserved.

YELLING WHILE YOU’RE CHARGING SCARES THE ENEMY

we’re coming to shore we’re coming to fight and we’re coming to win our blades are sharp our shields are strong we smell like real men

as the battle draws near get ready to sweat let the pain begin hold your sword high draw a deep breath the rush of adrenaline

yelling while you’re charging scares the enemy

 standing as one we face the wind their future looks bleak we’re screaming so loud they turn and run they fear our physiques

striking a blow impale the crowd they start to shriek our way of life is for the strong not for the weak

kill all the men take all the land that’s what we do you heard us scream you became scared others will too

 STEEL IS HARD

leather and fur lay on your skin makes you warm as you’ve ever been  plastic or rubber they’re not strong wood or Formica don’t last as long

napkins are paper clothes are cloth pillows are feathers cause they’re so soft floors are to walk on fences guard plates are ceramic and steel is hard

 steel is hard, really hard steel is hard, so damned hard steel is hard, really hard it hurts when you hit it, cause steel is hard

 light posts and knives made of steel suede and velvet not made of steel alloy and Carbon types of steel hey there’s Superman man of steel

 coal heats the fire to make it glow casting the iron orange yellow ground full of metal laid in shards you better wear shoes cause steel is hard

WARM BLOOD, COLD STEEL

your little girl made up her mind and decided that this Vykyng was divine in her father’s eyes I was worthy not rejection and anger was all he got

I gave no hint that she was to me every fine thing I desired it was no secret she was such a prize a more deserving man you required

I regret killing you but you tripped you fell I ran you through I do regret the day that you died but the Vykyng code does provide for

 warm blood cold steel

I fought the fight we took the land I had food and women and pillaged we sailed the seas and we stormed the farms and the homes and the villages

 FEASTING ON MEAT

I love eating meat such a good tasty treat tender juicy leg or thigh steak or burger broiled fried
bar b q flame broiled I don't care how you cook it tastes so good
feasting on meat I’m feasting on meat yummy yummy
neck or giblets chicken breast leg or wing all the rest pork or beef chicken too

 SHIPS SAIL FROM THE SEASHORE

set sail for the sea silently into the sun sunlight is shimmering shining and soothing our souls

 swords are slung by our sides securely snug in their sheaths we savor the sensation of solitude that is the sea

 seeing the stars seems so sentimental sea nymphs make us smile but the squids scare Sven

 ships sail from the seashore slicing through the salty sanctuary savage Scandinavians seven is surely supernumerary

 so salty is the sea surrendering to the surf soulless seaweed staying slack shiny still

 simple Simon said stop swimming in the sun sweaty surrender is sweet sustenance

 FIGHTING MAKES YOU STRONG

raise your swords with grace let them have a taste real men carry swords to win our great rewards

 fighting’s where we give thanks cuz we’re built like tanks swords and shields have weight that our enemies hate

 raise em high swing em hard to build the power in your legs and arms show no mercy have no fear win the fight don’t shed a tear

 fighting makes you strong

 lots of wood and steel strong Achilles heels massive bulging biceps since we took our first steps

fighting makes us strong our battles aren't that long to hell with feasting on meat just find someone to beat

 TWYHASMYHLLAF

fight the battle win the war float your boat up to shore  show of power show of might show the world why we fight

all that’s right all that’s good feelin’ good in the neighborhood  to sail the sea and tell the tale of Vykyngs past how we prevailed

 those before us stood so proud heavy metal played real loud make the sign raise your horns Vykyngs from the day you were born

the way you hold a sword makes your hand look like a fist that’s the ball of knuckles at the end of your wrist

hold it proud shout it out loud cause the way you hold a sword makes your hand look just like a fist

 SWORDS ARE CLANGING

sailing across unknown seas seeking loot and glory folks we meet do as they please it’s the same old story

 many weeks of boat life virile Vykyng boys through good times and strife make a helluva noise

 arctic winter drunken blur hidden without light summer love is making Vykyng’s glorious night

 strangers think we come to trade little do they know of Vykyng they should be afraid we’d rather take than owe

 we are invaders we want all your stuff we are Vykyngs don’t take no guff

 writing songs of hope icy sagas too with metal try to cope we Vykyngs are the few

vykyng songs are right I know they’ll make the grade sound is mightier than might when Nordic metal is played

 PILLAGING IS OUR JOB, AND WE'RE REALLY GOOD AT IT

pillaging is our job and we're really good at it

we’re not ashamed of what we do if you were us you would too taking your land is so much fun so is watching all of you turn and run

the ships we make are swift and long one sail so high the mast so strong drums pound like thunder when we hit land we live to fight with a sword in our hand

 HUNTERS HUNTING THE HUNTED

I am running you are running I am running you are running scared heart is pounding pulse is racing heart is pounding pulse is racing

muscles burning body aching blood is flowing breath is on the wind getting closer ever closer pounding striking now the prey is mine

 hunt hide kill feast I see you and you see me but do you know that I know that you see me

 tremble in fear the end is near if I don’t trip and drop my spear

 hunters hunting the hunted hunters hunting for food hunters hunting the hunted hunters hunting for you

hunger, survival, protein, riboflavin

A Very Vykyng Christmas (2008)

All songs written by Vykyng (J. Burrey, B. Moser, J. Spealman, V. Leibensperger).

Lyrics reprinted by permission.  All songs (c) 2008 Vykyng LLC.  All rights reserved.

STOMPING THROUGH A PILLAGED WONDERLAND

dragon ships they see coming and in fear they are running a beautiful sight we won the fight stomping through a pillaged wonderland

 swinging swords as we’re yelling Vykyng tales we are telling we’re from Uri nation there’s no complication stomping through a pillaged wonderland

 in the battle we will gain advantage in great numbers storming foreign ground the job that we are good at is to pillage when we hear the drums begin to pound

 sail away to another far off land we will plunder take all that we can then we’ll do it again stomping through a pillaged wonderland

 DO YOU FEAR WHAT I FEAR

said the barkeep to the Vykyng man do you fear what I fear how would you fight Vykyng man do you fear what I fear

a sword a sword flashing in the night we brought swords to a gun fight

said the little lamb to the Vykyng boy do you fear what I fear how would you fight Vykyng boy do you fear what I fear

a sword a shield on the battlefield and there’s no one willing to fight

 said the Vykyng boy to the mighty king do you know what I know in the palace hall mighty king do you know what I know

Thorvie Thorvie sings a melody with a voice as big as the sea

said Odin to the people everywhere listen to what I say pray for mead people everywhere listen to what I say

the mead the mead flowing in the night we’ll have women to hold and delight

THORVALD THE RED NOSED VYKYNG

Thorvald the red nosed Vykyng had the sharpest shiny sword and if you ever felt it you’d lay hurting in a fjord

all of the other Vykyngs played the shoving Vykyng game then the gnomes and trolls and gargoyles would scream offensive names

 then one stormy Nordic eve Odin came to say Thorvald with your voice so strong lead us to Valhalla with your song

 there the Vykyngs drank and frolicked in a mean but playful style they thrusted and parried in a way that was guaranteed to bring a smile

Steel Brothers Forged In Steel (2010)

All songs written by Vykyng (J. Burrey, B. Moser, J. Spealman, V. Leibensperger).

Lyrics reprinted by permission.  All songs (c) 2010 Vykyng LLC.  All rights reserved.

STEEL BROTHERS FORGED IN STEEL

 we are so strong when we are one we can’t go wrong our bond is tight nothing can break our Nordic might

 but don’t think that soon we’ll hold hands under the moon we’ll keep on fighting here and there think you can beat us we double dare 

swords higher scream louder we will not fall

 steel brothers forged in steel we are the real deal no doubt that we will win the day 

steel brothers forged in steel tonight we will reveal how cool it is to rock the vykyng way

we’re brothers brave we have no fear stand back to back when far or near we stick together we raise our mugs but we won’t do a group hug

 we’re proud to say we think we’re cool if you don’t see that then you’re a fool on the attack we don’t defend you can’t defeat these steel men

 join us now and that’s how we’ll rock the world

Thorvald sings Magnus rocks Tusk screams Olaf shocks invade the shores plunder towns knocking doors to the ground

 fearless Vykyngs drinking ale to our liking then we set sail sailing free to other lands victory is at hand

IT'S COLD IN SCANDINAVIA

as I sit here frozen to the bone my body shakes my stomach groans where is my food I need to eat where is my fire I need some heat

 of all the places in the world to live forever cursed to be a spiv I've got a legacy to uphold why does it gotta be so bitterly cold

it’s so cold in Scandinavia cold so cold in Scandinavia

don’t look now here comes the snow Royal Norman says it’s a hundred and fifteen below zero can’t boil water can’t make steam can’t milk the cows they shoot ice cream

SWORD AND SHIELD

from long time ago men ran in fear when our ships hit the shore they thought they were strong they thought they were brave they’d never seen us before

we’re ready to fight they’re ready to run cuz they know they would lose once they had fled we took their land and their women and booze

we’re super cool and we’re hot don’t get in our way

sword and shield makes me feel like a Vykyng I love the way they jingle jangle when I'm fighting

my blood soaked sword strikes down on you like lightning my shield pounds you to the ground I'm a Vykyng

the women look at us now our biceps and brawn they let down their guard their gaze was fixed on the size of our swords the steel was hard

taking them close they reveal the most they won’t let us go we’re men of the sea there’s places to be it is Odin's decree

DRAGONSHIP

there was a time so long ago we left our native land to take a journey long and far away

the mighty warriors Magnus Thorvald Olaf Tusk on the trip wrote music we would play

 we set the sails we brought the mead sailed straight and true Odin and the stars did set our course

when the wind grew still our sails no longer full Magnus made his own wind with great force

 where’s the cooler in the back did you bring some chips and dip no for Odin's sake I hope there’s meat yes there is let us feast

 dragonship on the ocean Vykyngs sail on the sea dragonship has no bathroom Vykyngs have no privacy

 when we landed on the shore to invade this desert land people screamed and ran away in fear

 these Nordic warriors brought those songs played them loud and strong rocked the land and drank lots of beer

DIVIDE AND CONQUER

our story is still the same we have equal shares for all we all know how to use pi we got degrees on the wall

 we are proud and we multiply just see our numbers grow it's like a quadratic polynomial with a limit from below

 we’ll be the first with all the answers we'll be the last to let you know

divide and conquer even though we’re strange a little bit deranged subtraction is what we do we will subtract you 

adding up the numbers there’s Vykyngs everywhere in front, behind and to the side you’d better all beware

if you try to take one out you may subtract that's true but if you do we’ll be coming after you

THE BATTLE FOR VALHALLA

hi my name is Odin and welcome to Valhalla you must be the Vykyngs the mighty fierce fellas

 Tusk stands to my left Olaf to my right Magnus has the flank and Thorvald will take point

thanks for coming gents I know you’re already dead but Valhalla's been invaded it’s time to bust some heads

 the battle for Valhalla could this really be it’s where mighty warriors go so they can rest in peace

this is the battle for Valhalla this is the battle of our lives we’ll kill you with forks and spoons and knives

but evil spirits have risen lead by Curt Cobain and invaded the mighty halls but their invasion is in vain

 but how can blood be spilled when we are all dead it’s the battle for Valhalla nuff said

 Magnus pounds the ground Thorvald swings his axe Olaf lets one rip Tusk jams on the sax

 the battle is long and hearty satisfaction guaranteed our spirits now immortalized with Odin yes indeed

HEAVY WEAPONS

we rush into battle eager to fight time to spill some blood on this glorious night

battle stances are assumed we don our iron will gentlemen we have problems our blades wont fit the bill

 the weapons are too heavy to wield with grace and flair we can't unsheathe our swords the fight is looking quite unfair

Olaf charges in about to swing his axe but his axe is just so heavy that he falls down on his ass

these are heavy weapons made for brute strong men they should go well with Vykyngs just like Barbie and Ken

but what good are they for us if we can't swing them around god forbid we'd have to swim with them we would drown

GIVING THE ENEMY A WEDGIE

we have a great way to show enemies shame just listen real close and we’ll teach you the game

sneak up behind him so he don’t know you’re there your primary target is his underwear

get a good grip grab em real tight then pull towards the sky with all of your might

you’ve done the deed right when he lets out a moan and his friends all flinch as you hear them all groan

givin the enemy a wedgie pullin his drawers up into his rear showin him one more thing to fear squeezing his pants against all he holds dear

we can raid we can pillage but sometimes we may have a little fun and ruin their day

it’s so hard to fight with their shorts riding high so funny to watch we laugh till we cry

 we don’t feel bad about what we do it’s really good fun for me and my crew

but when they go home what do they say the day they went through they will lie and downplay

BATHING IS FOR THE WEAK

red stains on our fur the brown in our shorts the grease in our hair there’s mud on our boots

we pillage towns and homes but do not take their soap when it starts to rain we stand outside the boat

bathing is for the weak bathing is for the meek there’s no need to wash our armpits stink like fish

we don’t like to clean it makes us more a man it’s easier to identify a Vykyng by his stench

so raise your dirty arms and clench your filthy sword we pride ourselves on odor that seeps out of our pores

their ship came into view it was called the Old Spice loaded with squeaky clean pirates that smelled so fresh and nice

 the Vykyngs pillaged the ship but left empty handed what is this deodorant as back to their ship they chanted

BONECRUSHER

you pound your chest gnash your teeth you’re young and strong don’t know defeat I don’t know you but you know me

 you’ve come to me to try the best you show your fear die like the rest say my name

I crush bone bonecrusher

let’s get it on no time to waste how does this cold steel taste stand and face me like a man

 beat you down you want some more that’s what this big hammer is for this will hurt you more than me say my name

VALKYRIES ARE HOT

it is my hope and dream to die in battle gloriously and to see them the women I love

 to be held within their arms pressed against their chests as they carry me to the great hall

sweet lady as you take me to dine with Odin I got to say I need you baby don’t ever let me go

Valkyries are hot no matter what you got Valkyries are hot your mama’s not

I wish that this moment would last forever with you and I together as one

now I see a redhead and that’s my favorite I’m sorry baby but she’s the one I need

THE MODERN DAY VYKYNG BLUES

I’m a Vykyng living in the modern day yeah I’m a Vykyng baby just trying to find my way

I’m sailing from town to town got no woman to keep me down I’m living my life free and easy like a Nordic man should

I walked into the bank to exchange some Nordic cash I had my sword and battle axe the guard was on me in a flash

he said this ain't no damn commercial I don’t care what’s in your wallet just turn around and get on out of here as he ate another doughnut

I said man why you coming down on me not all Vykyngs are the same it’s not like I'd steal your woman I don’t even know her name

went down to the car lot looking for a sweet sweet ride something with a little head room always wear my helmet when I drive

I'm talking to the man to see what he can do but he don't wear a helmet so he ain't got no clue

I drove off in a convertible then came the monsoon raid why cant a steel brother get a break I just don't know