MAGNUS MAGNUSSON - drums

Magnus Magnusson was born and grew up in the small town of Trovan in the nation of Uri.  His father taught

him the art of blacksmithing at the age of 4 when he noticed that Magnus beating everything with hammers,

rocks, and tree trunks.  Soon, building weapons became the specialty for the burley young mammoth man

Magnus.  His swords were made of the highest quality and strength: staying straight, strong, and sharp to

the end of even the fiercest battles.  His shields were impenetrable by any of the weapons of the age.  Magnus

would pound the steel with such force; the ground would shake for miles around.  This became a problem for

the surrounding neighborhoods.  Babies and old folks couldn’t take their daily naps, donkeys couldn’t pull their

carts without falling down, and the tremors that were sent throughout the land was causing tidal waves of

unseen proportions.  His father wanted to move him from the Uri Nation to a more secluded place, but Magnus

would have nothing of it.  So they decided that Magnus would hit drums with animal skins coverings instead

and it proved to be the solution for everyone.  So at the tender age of 15, Magnus made his first drum set.

After many years of playing drums in all types of bands, by chance he ran into Olaf wandering the forest

searching for the meaning of life.  Magnus showed him that beating drums and making music was in fact, the

meaning of all life.  After playing together for just a short time, Vykyng was born.  On their first trip to America,

Magnus was exposed to grunge music which made his hair stand on end and his stomach bubble to the point of

sickness.  After searching out the leader of this music style, he was asked to forge one final weapon.  A shotgun.

For this so called leader and prophet was a far better marksman than a musician, as was proved that fateful

night when the leader wanted to do drugs with Magnus.  “You silly boy,” Magnus said, “Real men do not need

these drugs to make themselves feel good.  Beautiful women and music is the key to a man’s soul.  If you do not

have a beautiful woman at your side, you should then just turn this weapon upon yourself because you’ll never

know true happiness with an ugly woman."  Many are happy Magnus spoke such prophecy.  Joy was returned to

the world and people were happy to listen to upbeat music again.  The world owes Magnus big time, but may

never admit it.